


down by the river, by the boats

by eliiiwhyyy



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Depression, Doesn't end in death though, Ethan gets hurt sorry, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, Please Be careful, Suicide, trigger warning, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 17:30:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12370548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliiiwhyyy/pseuds/eliiiwhyyy
Summary: where everybody goes to be alonemark would make sure that after this incident, no one in their little group/family would be forgotten again





	down by the river, by the boats

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from riverside - agnes obel
> 
> this deals with a suicide attempt and depression. no death, but still quite triggering so i would recommend if you're triggered by stuff like this then turn your eyes away

Mark was worried, but this time it wasn’t over work or his own life or anything.

 

No.

 

He was instead worried about one of his friends – _his youngest friend._ The one out of all of them who was considered the baby of the group.

 

For a week, no one could get through to Ethan, apart from whenever they texted him, he would text back saying that he was working. Tyler had gone to the boy’s apartment, only to find it locked and no one would answer when he knocked.

 

So it was safe to say that Mark was beyond concerned at this point, and was now driving to Ethan’s apartment to find out what was going on. He was regretting leaving it a week before driving down, but with older content that he _knew_ Ethan had recorded a while ago was going online, he figured something was wrong. The others wanted to come with him, but he figured that Ethan might not want them all crowding him so he chose to go alone.

 

Once he reached the apartment block, he parked and hopped out, almost running to the stairs to climb up. Reaching the door, he found the hidden spare key and opened the door, bracing himself for what he might find when he wondered in.

 

Walking into the apartment, he was surprised to find it clean and quiet, then figured that his friend might just be in the recording studio. Closing the door behind him, he wandered throughout the apartment, looking through every room. The final room was the recording room, and nothing could prepare him for the horror he would feel when he opened the door.

 

Mark opened the door, walking in and stopping dead in his tracks. On the floor near his computer, lay the younger boy.

 

Ethan was sprawled out on his side, his arms held to his chest with blood pooling slowly underneath them. His skin was pale and covered in wounds, with a broken razor sitting near his head. His eyes were closed, but his chest was slowly moving up and down and _that_ was what spurred Mark into action.

 

The older man gasped, dropping down onto the ground next to his younger friend, his hands hovering over his small body. He could feel his breathing quicken from panicking, and he forced himself to breathe properly, before whipping out his phone. He dialled emergency services, grabbing the jacket, Ethan’s jacket, from the chair to use as a towel to try and cover all the wounds while he sorted himself out.

 

“ _Hello this is emergency services, how may we help you?”_ a young woman’s voice broke through his thoughts, and he almost sobbed in relief.

 

“Oh thank god. My friend is bleeding out on the floor- I think-” he broke off, willing himself not to break down. “I think he might have attempted suicide- I need someone here right away-”

 

The woman seemed to understand, her voice coming through more kindly. “Keep him in the recovery position and try to pile things on to stop the bleeding, don’t change what you’re using, just try and pile more on. Where are you located?”

 

Mark listed off the address numbly, thanking her and hanging up. He stood up, running out of the room in search of towels. Once he located them, he scooped up as many as he could and ran back to his friend, his entire body shaking. He made sure to cover up all the cuts, noting how _deep_ they were, before keeping one arm on them while the other reached for his phone again.

He sent out a text to the others, quickly telling them to head down to the hospital as soon as possible, before sighing and keeping an eye on Ethan until the police arrived.

 

–

 

Once the ambulance arrived, Mark allowed himself to sink into one of the chairs as Ethan was wheeled away. As soon as the blue-haired boy disappeared from sight, did he break down. His chest heaved as his body was wracked with sobs. He placed his head into his hands, and he was unable to keep the tears from flowing anymore as he silently cried.

 

_Why had he done it?_

 

That was one thing that Mark had trouble understanding. He knew that Ethan hadn’t been struggling that much with depression, the kid hadn’t ever been diagnosed with it, and always seemed so bright and happy.

 

But was he?

 

Now that he thought about, Ethan had seemed more withdrawn through the past few months. He did smile and keep up his positive mood, but as Mark frowned in thought he remembered times when that façade seemed to slip, if only for a moment. He hadn’t thought about it at the time, but he remembered moments when Ethan would look sad, or anxious, and would put a smile back on his face before anyone had noticed the change in his mood. 

 

“Mark?” a soft voice called, halting his thoughts and making him choke slightly as he looked up. Amy, beautiful and kind Amy, stood there with a concerned expression. “Tyler and Kat are on their way, they’re caught up in traffic. Mark, what happened?” 

 

Her boyfriend blinked, the tears still falling from his face. “It’s Ethan- He-” he paused, taking a deep breath. “He tried to kill himself Amy.” 

 

Amy stood, shell-shocked, for a moment before her beautiful face morphed into an expression of absolute sadness. “Oh… Oh god,” she mumbled, dropping into the seat next to her boyfriend. “Oh Mark, I’m so sorry,” she breathed, pulling him into a hug. 

 

“I didn’t even know,” Mark sobbed, the tears falling fast again as he broke in his girlfriend’s arms. “We were so caught up in everything else we never noticed.” 

 

The two sat there silently, the sound of Mark’s crying and Amy’s sounds of comfort were the only things breaking the silence. 

 

–

 

When Tyler and Kathryn had arrived, they two were too shocked to speak after Amy explained what had happened, with Mark sleeping on her shoulder. He had cried himself out, too exhausted to stay awake any longer.  The group sat silently, watching as patients, doctors and visitors all walked past them, waiting for some sort of good news. 

 

S aid good news came in the form of a doctor, who walked towards them. Amy looked up, then softly nudged Mark awake, who seemed to lift his head slowly. Tyler and Kathryn watched, wide-eyed and hoping. 

 

The doctor smiled, a warm smile with a touch of sadness. “Are you four here for Ethan Nestor?” he asked, though seemed to already know the answer. When they nodded, he continued. “He’s going to be fine, we stabilized him and now he’s sleeping. You were lucky to find him when you did, he lost quite a bit of blood and would have died within the hour,” he explained softly. 

Mark frowned a bit. “So we can see him?” 

 

“Yes, though visitor hours end in two hours so I’ll have to ask you to leave by then,” the doctor replied, but the look in his eyes told the four that he wouldn’t kick them out. “I’ve arranged for the psychiatrist in the mental health department to see Mr Nestor once he’s awake and coherent, and when he’s been cleared both medically and mentally, he’ll be free to leave as long as he sees a counsellor of his choice.” 

 

The four nodded, and all stood slowly. “We’ll make sure he gets help,” Amy promised, taking Mark’s hand in hers to give him the comfort he needed. 

 

The doctor smiled. “Perfect, now if you follow me I’ll lead you to his room.” 

 

–

 

When Mark walked into the room, he didn’t know what to expect. 

 

He certainly wasn’t ready to find Ethan, so small and pale, laying in his hospital bed with so many wires hooked up to him. The youngest of Team Markiplier was already small and skinny, but now he looked like a corpse, his arms covered in bandages and his blue hair spilling out behind him onto the pillow. 

 

He walked closer to the bed, Amy still holding his hand.  Tyler had stifled a gasp behind him, and Mark had only just now remembered that it must be affecting Tyler the most, since he was the closest with Ethan. 

 

“Ty,” Mark said softly, pulling his hand away from Amy and instead putting an arm around the taller man’s shoulders. “It’s okay Ty, he’ll be fine. We’re gonna be there for him this time.” 

 

Tyler nodded stiffly, and Mark sat him down next to the bed. He watched as Tyler instantly settled his hand in Ethan’s hand, and kept an eye on him. Mark smiled at the sight, though it was a smile that was barely there, and turned to the girls. “We’ll… Need to talk about this with him,” he said softly, his voice breaking. “But for now, we just need to be with him for the night.” 

 

Amy nodded, as did Kathryn. Kathryn made her way next to Tyler, sitting down and hugging him. Mark and Amy watched as the burly man leant into her, and she held onto him tightly. 

 

“It’ll be okay Mark,” Amy whispered, kissing him on the cheek. 

 

Mark didn’t reply, just rubbed at his eyes. It would be okay eventually, they would be there for each other, and no member of their little team would be forgotten again. 

 

He would make sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a rant fic, im so sorry


End file.
